the cut on my finger,
the bruise on my right knee-
where did they come from?
i don't remember.
-
i keep trying to write prose about the fact that sean may is a sell-out.
-
it took only five beers to realize that i am projecting.
-
i try to make tiananmen focus my resolve.
-
earth day.
-
i always have an excuse
for why i am not ready.
28 years and still not there yet.
-
i keep mapping out how i am going to jump ship,
only to realize i'm still on shore.
-
two fishes swimming away from each other
-the tattoo that can never be seen
-
i let 4/20 slide
so weary of sliding back
into her arms of comfort
-
falsefalsefalsefalsefalse
-
peace corps vs. plastic surgery
where is satisfaction?
either?
-
false dilemmas setting me up
-
if only i could concentrate
if only i could decide
-
will i die an unknown?
like you? like them?
like most?
will i die with no piece of immortality?
the thought kills me
-
protect myself
with politics, with debate
with comedy, trivia
with excess or the illusion of
-
keep looking for patterns
endless patterns
-
determinism and the inevitable-
there is a reason i keep looking
-
mike does not exist but emily does
-
by the way, if i fucked you over in the past,
i truly apologize
we were both fucked up
and scared
-
for as loose as i've been-
now i have to reign it in.
every muscle, every thought.
-
the truth is, when i hear certain songs, i realize
that i liked fucking you.
shit, i got off.
isn't that what counts?
-
6 beers, now.
and, now in my life, hundreds of thousands of cigarettes-
mostly good, a few bad.
-
the words keep pouring out.
i'll look back at this time and think i was an idiot
but it is real to me now.
and isn't that what counts?
-
earth day
-
i keep picking out the lyrics that reaffirm my way, my life
-
all these magazine subscriptions-
what do they mean?
where was i when i called those 800 numbers?
-
the islands, they call to me
i lock myself in my house
for a weekend
and i visit them.
-
sex always fucks me up
maybe i am like a typical female
i fight against that
i should accept it
-
but nonononononononononono
-
my door may be open but that doesn't mean you can come in
- i just wanted a breeze
on this spring day
-
7 and counting
-
sometimes i wish i had a relationship
- just so i could lament about it
sicksicksicksicksick
-
i keep thinking that unique is the highest compliment.
ordinary is the worst insult.
why? what shame is there in the common?
-
everybody feels fucked up
so i know i am not alone
-
caffeine at 11:30-
bring it on, hangover, bring it on.
-
i'll see what you're made of by what you make of me.
things falls apart, intentions shatter.
somewhere between napoleon and josephine.
-
8 went down the kitchen sink.
-
back to water.